Why Are The Holidays So Hard?

Christmas Card

Well that is an easy question to answer.  Holidays are so hard because people are involved in them.  Plain and simple.  It’s not much harder than that.

But we make the holidays very hard on ourselves because of the way we want the world to see us.  You see, no one wants the world to think that we have any problems at all – ever – period.  “Everything is great over here.  There is nothing to see here.  Move along – move along.”  This is what we desperately want the world to think.  Unfortunately this is called “masking” and to put in in terms most people can understand, we treat out lives like a living Facebook account.  We post pictures of our “beautiful homes” our “awesome cars” all of the “amazing meals we eat” and “selfies of us looking our best.”  Oh if only life were really like that.  It is called Facebook because it is the “face” you want the world to see, not your real face.

The face that hurts when your friends turn on you.  The face that cries when your needs do not get met.  The face that cringes when you get a bad report back from the doctor.  The face that aches for a child who did not “turn out the way we want them to.”  Folks, this is reality and if you cannot put your REAL face on Facebook, then please stop putting out the fake one, because we all see right through it.

Holidays are hard because we try so desperately to keep up the facade of being perfect and that takes all that we have emotionally.  Our brains and our emotions want us to rid ourselves of these negative feelings and share them with others.  That is why God said He created created us for a relationship with Him AND a relationship with others.  We NEED others in our lives to live complete lives.  But we need REAL relationships with others, no relationships based on who we want others to think us to be.

We need “anytime” friends.  These are the friends we call when we have cried for an hour because we are feeling lonely.  Friends we can call when we lose our jobs.   Friends we can call when we are fighting with our spouses and no communication seems to be working.  We can call them anytime and we know that we will not be judged nor preached to – we will simply be accepted for who we are right now, warts and all.

That is how God loves us – just as we are.  Do you have “anytime” friends?  Do you have that person you can call at 2 a.m. when you cannot sleep because you are filled with anxiety?  By the way, are YOU that “anytime” friend for someone else?

My friends, the God means for Thanksgiving and for Christmas to be a time of joy filled contentment.  A time spent with family and friends, building each other up and just loving each other for who we are.  God wants us to share our worship of Jesus with others as well and to be thinking about the fact that these will be the people that we get to spend all of eternity with in Heaven one day!  What an amazing thought that is!!!  The friends I spend time with today, will be the friends I get to spend eternity with in Heaven on day!!!

I urge you to be very mindful of the “you” that you are putting out to the world.  Is it the “real” you?  If you have a need to post a selfie of yourself every 5 minutes, is it because you think your friends will very easily forget what you look like, or are you so desperate for acceptance and compliments that this is the only way you know to get it?  After all, how many times have you asked yourself, “Gosh I wonder what Brad looks like right this moment?”  Or have you ever asked yourself, “I wonder what Brad is having for lunch right now?”  If your being truthful, the answer is no you have not.  Instead why not post about the real things going on in your life that you need help with or post affirming words to others when they need building up?

Finally, let me urge you to be hyper attentive to the needs of others during this holiday time.  The days between Thanksgiving and Christmas as the number 1 time of the year for suicides to occur.  Holiday Depressive Syndrome is a very real thing and it needs to be taken seriously.

If anyone approaches you this holiday season and expresses that they are considering suicide, immediately ask them if that have a definitive plan for carrying out the suicide.  If they answer yes and can explain it, call 911 immediately and get them help.  If they do not have a plan, it is a lesser emergency, but an emergency nonetheless and you need to take the time to let them express to you how they are feeling.  You might be the only thing standing between someone taking their lives or from someone walking away from that act.

Friends, even though I may have never met you in real life, I love each and every one of you and I want you to be able to enjoy the holidays as god meant for you to.  That starts with your being willing to be real with everyone about who you are.  None of us are perfect.  Look around you right now.  Do you see another person?  Guess what?   They have problems, and they are a sinner too?  That should instantly make you feel better.  As well, they are a child of God and He loves them just as they are just as HE loves you just as you are.

Let’s make the upcoming celebration of Jesus’ birth the joyous time it was meant to be.  Jesus never once claimed to be something he was not.  He cared for ALL people and took time for them.  We should and can do the exact same.

May the upcoming Christmas holiday be such a joy filled time filled with love, family, and the realness of sharing your life with others who love you just as you are.

With love,

Pastor Brad Komgenick
God’s Light Christian Counseling

Call us today for your free initial video session.  We are always here for you!!!

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